We're Gonna Make It After All

Posted by Traci at 5:54 PM

Eli has had a pretty rough weekend.  I can’t imagine what he’s going through.  If my parents started paying attention to two new kids I would freak out, and I’m thirty six years old.  I would have made a terrible step-anything so it’s a good thing my parents have always been rock solid.

Someone said that it’s the same thing as if we had another baby, but it’s not.  A baby can’t break your toys (even accidentally) or jump in your mom’s lap.  We’re trying to find lots of time for him to be with just Mommy or just Daddy but it’s still a drastic reduction from always. 

Sunday night when I was putting him to bed he could barely make it through one book without running around the room doing headstands.  We typically read two or three long books and he begs for more.  He woke up in the middle of the night, something he has never done. It’s killing me to see him hurting so.

Later that night as I watched Eli sleep I prayed that God would give me assurance this was him.  Because if it was then he’ll finish this.  He’ll make a family in all our hearts just like Eli and I prayed he would.  But if this was just me… well we’re pretty much hosed.  Phil Vischer gave an interview about the demise of his company Big Idea and he quoted something he read in a study of Samuel by Henry Blackaby.  It said:

If God has given you something to do for the people, and it is going horribly, maybe it didn't actually come from God, but from your own mind.

That scared the you-know-what out of me.  Things are NOT going horribly, but when my sweet boy is crying and begging me to find Trey & Rosalee a plane back to China I feel like they are.  As a side note, I’ve lost about ten pounds since we flew out of Atlanta.  I have neither the time nor inclination to eat right now. 

I woke up in the middle of the night and again asked God for an answer.  Who’s idea was this?  For some reason I started thinking about the temptation of Christ, and the next morning I looked it up.  Here’s what it said:

Then Jesus, being filled with the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, being tempted for forty days by the devil. And in those days He ate nothing, and afterward, when they had ended, He was hungry.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt so relieved in my life.  Jesus was led by the Spirit into the wilderness.  And so was I.  We're gonna make it after all.