Adoption That Ended With Gain

Posted by Traci at 10:45 PM

During our adoption journey I've met many wonderful people at varying points in their own long walks.  For most, the adoption of their son or daughter is their first exposure to this world of acronyms and blood tests and timelines.  

The parents I've met wonder how their children will feel about all kinds of things as they grow – their adoption, their birth parents, their country of birth, their race.  I recently read a blog post titled “Adoption Begins With Loss”.  I’m sure it was a thoughful post, but I remember being puzzled by the title.  Because for me, it’s always been "adoption ends with gain". 

Here’s a song my Dad wrote for me.  He used to sing it all the time when I was little:

Traci Laine

She never lived in Spain

She never lived in Maine

But she lived in El Salvador

But that was before

Her Mama and Daddy came down from Georgia

Where she’ll live forevermore.

When completing, our homestudy my husband and I were each asked to write a short biography.  Here's what I wrote:

I was born in El Salvador in 1976, at the beginning of a brutal civil war.  As an infant I was adopted and went to live with my adopted family in beautiful Gainesville, Georgia.  I lived in the same home until I was married.  My mother and father were and are wonderful parents.  I could not have asked for a more loving upbringing.  We didn’t have a lot of material extravagances, but we always had what we needed and we always felt safe and secure.  My father worked hard and my mother stayed home to care for my brother and I.  My brother is four years older than me; he is my parent’s biological son.  We have always been close and I don’t think either of us felt like anything other than a normal brother and sister.   My husband and I enjoy spending time with my brother and his family and my son and his daughter are very close cousins and love to play together.  Some of my best childhood memories include our weekly dinners at the local steakhouse, being together in our home, and spending time with my aunts and uncles and cousins at our grandparents.

 

So that’s it, pretty drama-free, angst-free life.  I’m not trying to make light of others struggles with adoption, but I want to say that adoption doesn’t always lead to grappling with who you are.  I know who I am – Traci Laine, never lived in Spain, never lived in Maine.  I lived in El Salvador.  But that was before.